The Simple Things - Jack/Daniel slash fic
Sep. 4th, 2005 10:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ankhTitle: The Simple Things
Author: Ankh
Archived: http://bunnyfic.com/Ankh/Simple_Things.htm
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack/Daniel
Date: Dec 1999. Latest edited version Nov 2003
Spoilers/Season: Pre and post season 3 episode Maternal Instinct
Summary: The discovery of the harsesis baby means Jack might lose Daniel.
Disclaimer: Neither SG1, SGC, nor for that matter SG-anything are mine. We all know who they belong to. I've just borrowed them, cleaned them afterwards and left them (sort of) 'as were'. Written for no money, only love, with no intention to infringe on any copyright, purely for entertainment. Please don't archive without my permission.
What the hell, wondered Jack, was so fascinating about a writing system that not only wasn't used anymore but was also, apparently, used by a bunch of long-dead aliens with an abnormal interest in fish bones?
The bones had been everywhere on P8R448, used to make jewelry, ornaments and rattling ... things. As for the writing, it looked like a two-year-old had gone crazy with finger paints. According to Daniel there was a structure and meaning to the blots. Apparently the oval blot with two lines sticking out at its sides and a triangle on its ass was a picto-something and was meant to be a fish. It cropped up a lot. Daniel found it fascinating. Now there was a surprise.
Propped up in the doorway to Daniel's office, Jack ignored the object Daniel was examining with the assiduity of a miser counting out pennies, choosing instead to study the man who was sitting at his desk, head bowed, a frown lodged firmly between his eyebrows. Daniel looked as if he should sleep for twenty-four hours; his face was drawn, the skin overly pale in the lamplight, the blue eyes threaded through with crimson. Not good. Totally engrossed in his study of some alien relic, Daniel was oblivious to Jack's presence. Something about the curve of the neck and spine spoke of a soul-deep weariness; since it was due to three years' worth of trauma there was little Jack could do to alleviate it - but he could do something. He could at least get Daniel to relax, if only for a few hours.
It was time to save Daniel from himself - he'd always been his own worst enemy.
Pushing aside the tenderness and aching need to touch the exhausted man that was welling up inside him, Jack kept his tone casual as he broke the silence. "How much longer are you going to be studying this stuff?"
It was a sign of just how tired Daniel was that Jack's voice startled him. He sat up abruptly, and Jack guessed it was only his years of working with priceless relics that kept the object he was holding from flying into the air.
Daniel put down the object he'd been studying to glare across the room.
Jack smiled serenely, barely managing to stifle the touchy-feely urge that hit him when he saw Daniel's glasses slip down and settle on the tip of his nose. Telling himself that he couldn't just reach out and push the glasses back up, Jack glanced at the object of Daniel's intense study, making a mental bet with himself that it consisted of... Oh yeah, fish bones.
"Do you ever knock?" An impatient hand shoved the glasses back into their customary position.
"For CO's and dates and you're neither," Jack responded flippantly. He had to look away when he realized what he had said. Ouch. Rip your own heart out why don't you? Hell, he must be feeling pretty tired too to leave himself open like that. "You finished here?"
Daniel turned his attention back to the artifact on his desk, dexterous fingers handling the delicate object with ingrained care. "Study like this can take months, sometimes years. The symbols on the head could be pictographic but I really need a point of..."
Hastily Jack asked, "How long are you going to be studying it tonight?"
Daniel gave the question serious consideration. "Ah, until the coffee runs out?"
Examining the lines of exhaustion on Daniel's face and the determined look in his eyes, Jack made a decision. "Right. That's it. Pack it up. I'm taking you home."
"I really don't need a babysitter. I have to finish this."
"No. You don't. These people died a long time ago. I don't think they're going to give us the magic answer on how to defeat the Goa'uld." His voice gentling, Jack added, "And I don't think they're going to lead us to Kheb either."
"But Jack - " Daniel began to protest.
"And fascinating though I'm sure you find them," Jack continued, his voice stronger, faintly teasing, his eyes locking with Daniel's, "fish bones aren't the answer either. I mean fish! Fish for crying out loud. Fish-ing yes. That Egyptian stuff with the cats maybe, the damn things really do seem to have nine lives. Dogs I could really understand. Dogs are cool. But fish?"
"There's nothing wrong with fish. I like fish," Daniel muttered. "I have fish."
Jack gave the other man a look full of meaning.
From the way Daniel closed his eyes and shook his head it was clear he realized just how ridiculous his protest had sounded. Despite his obvious fatigue his stubborn nature tried to assert itself. Managing to dredge up a modicum of energy, he elaborated, "Besides, the fish are probably just representative - an ideogram if you will. Though the Egyptians considered them unclean, the fact is water was often used to represent life and fish as creatures that live in the water - "
"Daniel."
Sudden animation lighting his face, Daniel continued, "There are many Earth-based myths surrounding fish. In Babylonian mythology Enkhil - "
"Daniel, shut up, shut it down or I'm pulling the plug."
"You wouldn't." Daniel paused, clearly considering what he had just said then narrowing his eyes at Jack. "You would," he muttered, sounding resigned.
"Oh yeah." Jack had to suppress a smile, the other man's reluctant capitulation putting him in mind of a stubborn King Charles Spaniel his mother had owned. Damned dog hated being sent out to ‘do its business' even if it had been indoors all day and needed to go out. Daniel was wearing that same ‘mutinous but needing to obey' look on his face. Jack had the sudden urge to pat the other man on the head and stroke his hair. He managed to stop the mental images from progressing further by sheer force of will.
"See, I don't have your fascination for this. I just care about normal stuff like who won the game, or are members of my team getting enough rest. Right now I can see one member who needs to call it a night. So shut it down. Please."
"Fine." Daniel sounded far from fine, in fact he sounded downright resentful. Even sitting slumped in his chair, he managed to exude an air of imminent rebellion but he had the sense to follow orders.
"Thank you." Seeing Daniel was about to pack his notes in his leather holdall to take home, Jack put a restraining hand on the man's wrist. "Oh no. Work's over for you, bucko. I'm taking you home. Leave it for Nyan."
"How is he supposed to decipher these symbols when until recently the only languages he was familiar with were those of his own world?"
"I don't know. Maybe by playing with them?"
"Jack, I don't think you realize what my work entails."
"Just like you have no idea what colonels do."
"Shout a lot and shoot things?" Despite his words, Daniel's tone was teasing.
"See, that's where you're wrong. Sometimes I speak real soft. Like this." Jack leaned forward and whispered into Daniel's ear, "Leave it for Nyan and come home with me. Please."
Daniel closed his eyes briefly, a puff of air pushed past parted lips before they compressed into a wry smile. "Yes, nanny."
Jack grinned, eyes widening when he suddenly realized he was close enough to smell Daniel's shampoo and was still holding the man's wrist. Moving back and resisting the urge to stroke the soft inner skin, he released Daniel and settled for a hearty slap on his back. Having expected to have to cajole his friend into leaving, he was pleased at the relative ease of his victory - until he realized it had been won by Daniel's exhaustion and not his own powers of persuasion. Ignoring the knot in his stomach and the tightness of his throat he forced a cheerful note into his reply.
"Obedience. I could get to like this. It's unlikely I'll get the chance to get used to it but it would make a nice change." Sliding an arm across the tense shoulders, Jack leaned in close and in a voice that clearly stated he would not be thwarted, he told his friend, "Daniel, I'm taking you home with me. You're going to spend a normal evening doing normal guy stuff - if it kills us both."
Daniel looked up from shutting down the computer, red-rimmed blue eyes fixing on his friend; there was an amused light in their depths. "Oh. That makes it sound like so much fun."
"That's the price you pay for spending the evening at my place. You got everything you need?"
"I guess." Daniel reached for some books only to have them snatched out of his hands.
"No work. That includes books."
"I could bring ones with pictures so you could read them too," Daniel murmured provocatively, smiling when Jack changed a smack upside the head into a ruffling of hair.
Stealing a brief moment to enjoy the feel of silken strands against his fingertips, Jack said, "Oh, that's funny. Guy stuff. Popcorn. Beer. The game."
"What game?" Daniel asked, trying to hide a smirk as he got up from his desk.
"There is only one game."
"Hockey?"
"All those hours of training you are paying off."
Daniel smiled wryly as he rubbed at his eyes beneath his glasses, nearly yanking the frames off his face in the process. Pushing then back into position, he stifled a yawn and asked absently, "I thought you already knew what the score was from Ferretti."
There was silence, a very pointed silence, from Jack.
Daniel shook his head in mock self-disgust. "That was a really dumb thing to say. The outcome isn't what's important it's the play that counts. Right?"
"Thattaboy, Daniel, I'm proud of you! We're going to order pizza, drink beer, insult the players, insult each other - "
Tilting his head, eyes crinkling with amusement, Daniel murmured up towards the ceiling, "And he does that for pleasure."
"Ah, you love it really."
***
While it was debatable that Daniel actually enjoyed hockey, Jack had coaxed him into watching it during the early months of their working on the Stargate program, shortly after Daniel's return from Abydos. Daniel had stayed at Jack's place before he found himself an approved residence in town and Jack had taken the opportunity to turn Daniel into his sports-watching, beer-drinking best buddy, whether the scientist liked it or not. Jack wanted to have someone there to complain to about the players' performance so Daniel hadn't really had much of an option. As it turned out, Daniel wasn't totally ignorant about sports, though Jack never could get him to drink more than two beers. In return O'Neill had sat through the occasional documentary - unless it had bugs or snakes in it.
Jack had grown used to Daniel's quirks, which included making pancakes at three in the morning. In return Daniel had never once mentioned that Jack sang - badly - in the shower.
Almost three years on, Jack still missed having the guy around as a permanent fixture.
When Daniel had first moved out the house had felt empty; his absence simply hadn't feel right. At the time O'Neill had been bothered by this fact. It had felt as if he was becoming dependent on Daniel.
That fear still lingered, although he figured it was way too late to do anything about it.
The fact was one day Daniel would leave - for good. Not just several miles away in his own apartment but gone. Vamoose. Adios amigo.
Initially Sha're had been the threat to Jack's happiness. He could deal with that, could accept a woman who was so beautiful, so unique, that Daniel had fallen head over heels for her. He'd prided himself on the fact he'd worked like hell to get her back for Daniel. He hadn't realized he was capable of that self-sacrificing shit.
He'd never imagined the one thing that would take Daniel out of his life would turn out to be a baby that wasn't even Daniel's own child.
Jack was used to fighting tangible things, an armed enemy, something he could use weapons and hands to destroy - hell, something he could shoot at, hit or blow up. He wasn't used to fighting ideals of love, devotion and honor. He wasn't prepared to battle against a man's promise to his dead wife.
With Sha're dead, Daniel's mission in life seemed to be to find Sha're's baby son. One day his search for the child would be over. He'd probably go and live with the kid on Abydos - after all, though the baby was a harsiesis, the product of two Goa'ulded hosts, one of them had been Daniel's wife. The baby was the last link with Sha're along with her family on Abydos. And Daniel had always thought of Abydos as home, ever since he had first arrived there and been welcomed by the Abydonian people with open arms.
Daniel would leave. And, damn it, he'd be alone again, really alone. Daniel wouldn't just be living across town - he'd be living in another galaxy. And it would hurt.
But who was Jack to deny his best friend a shot at being a father? Even if the kid was a harsiesis and likely to attract every damn Goa'uld and enemy of the Goa'uld in the Galaxy? Just because Jack hadn't been able to keep his own kid safe didn't mean...
Damn it.
A rush of memories threatened to swamp Jack and he pushed them down - now was not the time to wallow in regrets of Charlie's death. He had failed to protect his son from the boy's own curiosity, he had failed to ensure that his gun was locked away securely. Daniel had one hell of a task ahead of him but he shouldn't miss out on the chance of something wonderful merely because Jack was afraid of what would happen if some Goa'uld like Apophis showed up. And he definitely shouldn't miss out on being a dad just because Jack was a selfish son of a bitch who didn't want to lose him.
Daniel would make a great dad. Patient, curious, willing to teach, willing to learn, gentle and kind, ruthless when necessary - he had a lot of gifts to give any child. That was going to be one lucky kid.
God, he loved him. It felt so right having him here, beside him.
As the game played on the television, Jack watched the man sitting next to him on the sofa, long legs sprawled out in front of him. It was rare to see Daniel so relaxed. In the past he'd either bounced around with way too much energy for one human being, or been stiff with tension and too much caffeine. Lately he had been more subdued: dying; helping your wife give birth to someone else's child; being certified schizophrenic; seeing your wife killed - all these things tended to have a dampening effect on a person's exuberance... But right now he looked boneless. The exhaustion was gone from his face as the two beers Jack had practically forced down his throat made their effects known, along with the double whisky.
Jack admitted it really didn't take much to keep him happy; hockey on the TV, his best friend at his side, cold beer - the simple things, simple pleasures. He could dream about it getting more complicated, could dream about that best friend becoming something more but it wasn't to be - so he could be happy with simple. Happiness was seeing the man you loved more than anything and anyone totally relaxed at your side, on your sofa, in your house and looking like he belonged there, completely at home.
Except he wasn't.
Jack took a pull at his beer, stifling the rush of resentment rising up inside him. Back to the same old black shadow hanging over him. He really had to get a grip and deal with this. Face facts. One day Daniel would go back to Abydos - back to sand and more sand and people who never forced him to watch hockey, or made sure he slept enough and ate enough and didn't lose himself in the past. He'd be so busy playing dad to Sha're's kid that he'd probably never give Jack another thought.
And dammit that wasn't dealing with it, that was feeling sorry for himself. He really had to work on that coping thing.
When you considered the odds of finding a friend like Daniel, who confused and annoyed him, and drove him nuts sometimes, when you got to thinking how unlikely it was, well, it didn't seem right. Or fair.
Yeah, well since when was life fair? If life was fair he'd still have a son. If life was fair then he would never have fallen in love with his best friend. If life was fair then his love would have been returned.
Something inside O'Neill lurched up against his ribs. Gas, he told himself.
He stole another look at Daniel, eyes drifting over his friend's face - and realized why Daniel looked so relaxed.
He'd fallen asleep.
A roar of sound erupted from the television. With complete disinterest in the dramatic events unfolding on the screen, Jack reached for the TV/VCR remote control and switched off the game he had been anticipating all week. The sudden silence was strangely comforting and he sat back on his side of the sofa, soaking up the peace to be found in the simple sight and sound of his friend sleeping.
Daniel had managed to fall asleep upright, his head tilted back, mouth open. If he stayed like that he'd probably start snoring, Jack thought, smiling at the image, then reflecting that he really had it bad if he could find a snoring Daniel endearing.
Sizing up the length of the sofa then casting an eye over Daniel's six foot frame, Jack decided he'd better be cruel to be kind or Daniel would wind up with a crick in his neck; a couple of inches taller than his friend, painful past experience had taught Jack of the resulting discomfort. He carefully slid Daniel's glasses off, tucking them into his own shirt pocket. Gently, he shook the other man until Daniel opened bleary eyes.
"Come on. Let's get you into the spare room."
Mumbling something under his breath, Daniel let himself be hauled to his feet. He attempted to push up glasses that were no longer there and almost poked himself in the eye. He nodded wearily at Jack's "I got 'em" then took a few seconds to get his balance, stumbling a little as he let himself be guided from the room. He leaned into the support offered.
Jack watched the bowed head as Daniel stared at his feet in an effort not to fall over and felt his insides melt.
Oh yeah. He was beyond reclamation.
They reached the spare room and as soon as Daniel spotted the bed he slipped from under Jack's arm and headed straight for it, landing face down with an inelegant thud that rocked the bed and caused the wooden headboard to bang against the wall.
The sight of Daniel lying there, spread across the bed, sent a rush of desire racing through O'Neill that headed straight for his groin. The swiftness and heat of it caught him by surprise, a small ‘oomph' of a sound escaping him as the air was knocked out of his lungs. Hunching forward a little to alleviate the discomfort of suddenly confining pants, he left the room so quickly he almost walked into the door.
Searching for a pair of sweat-pants Daniel could use for sleep-wear, Jack deliberately lingered over the task until his body was once again under his control. When he was confident it would remain so, he headed back into the bedroom. He found Daniel was no longer in danger of suffocation, his head resting sideways on the pillow, curled fingers embedded in the comforter beneath him. Jack however was in serious danger of hormonal overload as his body tried to wrest back control.
The sweat-pants he was carrying fell to the ground, unnoticed. Jesus. Was there anything more desirable than the sight of a relaxed Daniel Jackson, sprawled on a bed with his legs spread apart, and his pants pulled taut over the perfect curve of his ass?
Damn it, he could do this. He wasn't some inexperienced teenager with a first crush on a cheerleader.
Stealing himself to carry out the necessary mission and quit admiring the scenery, Jack put Daniel's glasses on the nightstand then removed Daniel's shoes and socks in a brisk, business-like fashion. Tempted to remove more, he called himself a pervert and instead took a moment to watch Daniel sleeping. The fatigue was still apparent around the closed eyes but the tightness around the mouth and jaw was gone, the lips parted a fraction. Jack took an involuntary step forward, gaze drawn to that perfect mouth. His hand was moving before he was even aware of having formed the thought, his forefinger lightly stroking across the lush lower lip.
One day Daniel would leave.
The pain ripped through him, although he wasn't sure if that was why he gasped, or whether it was the feel of the tongue that slipped out to lick across his fingertip. He moved closer, thoughts whirling.
Daniel couldn't leave. Jack wouldn't let him go. To hell with promises. Sha're was gone. Jack was here. Daniel was needed here.
His mouth had almost met Daniel's before sanity set in.
The child.
Breath stilled in his throat then Jack moved a little higher, from the temptation of soft lips to warm skin and silky hair as his mouth brushed against Daniel's temple. Air escaped his lips in a shuddering sigh and he rose, heading for the door before he did something completely crazy. About to leave the room a prickling sensation at the back of his neck made him turn round.
Daniel was watching him.
Jack caught a glimpse of the tip of Daniel's tongue as it stroked across his lips.
The moment stretched, thoughts and emotions suspended.
Then Daniel closed his eyes.
Emotion rushing through him, too overwhelming and confusing to be catalogued, Jack switched off the light, plunging the bedroom into darkness, then retreated swiftly.
He stayed for a while in the living room, standing aimlessly in the center of the room, one thought dominant over the chaotic whirl of others - Kheb was a long way away, in time and space. Daniel was here now. There was time to make this place home, a home Daniel would never want to leave; a home for Daniel to raise a child, even if it was a harsiesis that had no genetic claim to either of them. He could do this. He could make this work.
It would have to be cleared with Hammond, of course, but the man had a soft spot for Daniel and, he suspected, for him too. Of course, they'd have to ascertain whether the child was dangerous or not. If so, no way in hell was Daniel going to be allowed to take the kid. If not, if it really was just a regular baby, Jack could easily nudge the general into thinking in the right direction. Daniel would need help. And if Jack was there for Daniel every day, supporting him, guiding him, helping him change the damn diapers, maybe one day he would let Jack love him? There was time and he could be very patient.
Some things were worth waiting for.
***
Staring off into some invisible realm six inches beyond his nose, Jack reflected on the basic unfairness of life.
That morning there had been no mention of the kiss. Well, if you could call it a kiss. It had just been a simple brush of lips against an area that wasn't considered an erogenous zone. Totally non-sexual, really. Practically fraternal. He'd kissed his grandmother with more passion.
Yeah, Jack. Sure. Since when did you ever want to ‘French' Grandma?
Anyway, Daniel hadn't mentioned it, although Jack's instincts were telling him that the man knew exactly what was behind the kiss. He wasn't sure how he felt about that.
Arriving at the base, Daniel wearing underwear he had borrowed from Jack - something Jack was not going to think about too closely - they'd had an unexpected visit from Bra'tac. That made Teal'c happy. Sort of. That injured Jaffa dying kind of killed the mood. Daniel got to do some research which made him happy. Oh, and there was also the minor fact that Kheb had been discovered - just boring, heart-ripping, soul-tearing stuff, nothing important.
Shit, crap and dammit to hell. He needed more time.
Kheb. Now. Of all the times to discover the location of the harsiesis kid it had to be now, when Jack was least prepared and had his defenses down. For months he'd been ready to let Daniel go - kind of. Well, he liked to think he'd been ready. Just when he'd reckoned on enough time to get Daniel to change his mind they'd gone and discovered the damn place.
Idly, Jack wondered where the monk guy was keeping the kid. Come on, just hand the harsiesis over, let Daniel go to Abydos, let my heart quit feeling like it's about to split apart and let's get the hell out of here.
It didn't help that the damn Goa'uld were likely to show up soon, which meant they really ought to get the hell out of Dodge. But Daniel was in there doing the softly-softly thing with the monk and Jack was willing to go along with it. The monk, or whatever the hell he was, didn't look the type to be intimidated by a gun waved in front of his face. So Daniel was inside, trying to get the location of the harsiesis out of Master Yoda in there. As for Jack? Well, he was outside feeling sorry for himself.
Pathetic, he told himself, even as he wondered if hitting Daniel over the head and keeping him tied up at the house would be grounds for breaking up a friendship. Now there was a thought - lose Daniel's friendship or lose Daniel? Great choices life threw at him. He must have stored up a shitload of bad karma in some previous life.
The scientist types at the SGC would want to examine the kid so Daniel wouldn't be able to leave immediately. That would give Jack a few days to work on him, to convince him to stay. He'd run the ‘Daniel moving in with me' idea past Hammond.
Ah hell. He was forgetting about the NID. Once those goons heard about the harsiesis they would want to take him away and study him like a lab rat. While the whole idea of a child created by Apophis seriously creeped him out, the fact was it was still a child. Part of Sha're. There was no way Daniel would stick around, not unless Hammond refused to let him leave.
Jack glanced around, as if fearing his thoughts were on display and might be seen by someone else. This was his secret, the shameful thought that proved what a selfish asshole he was. It wasn't a new idea, he'd had it some time ago, when he'd started to believe the harsiesis was real and not the result of a ribbon device-induced hallucination. If General Hammond refused permission for Daniel to step through the stargate with the child then Daniel wouldn't be able to leave. He certainly wouldn't be able to leave the protection of the SGC. But Hammond listened to Colonel O'Neill. All it would take would be the right argument, pushing certain facts. He could do it.
Except he wouldn't. Even he wasn't that much of an asshole.
He could try convincing Daniel but wearing him down would take time and no one could stop Daniel when he got an idea in his head, least of all Jack. No, Daniel would get the kid, then leave Jack - Earth - and head for Abydos.
And Jack? Well, he'd request a mission to some nice hostile planet and go shoot something. Blowing up things might work. Might not make him feel any better but at least it would give him something to focus on and maybe he could get through losing Daniel - again - without losing his mind.
All in all this was turning into a bad day.
***
OK. That was the report finished. He was getting real good at putting into words all the weird shit that happened to SG1 on a regular basis. And the medical was out of the way. Fraiser had cold hands. He should see about -
Daniel was still here.
Yeah, so he should talk to Teal'c about the Jaffa fear of Kheb, find out if those ‘glowing light' aliens had shown up anywhere other than -
Daniel was still here. Oh sweet Jesus, hail Mary, hallelujah. He hadn't lost him. A subdued Daniel, yes, a Daniel who was still clearly dealing with the fact his mission to find the harsiesis and keep him safe had been taken away from him but, still, Daniel. And Jack hadn't had to lie, cheat, murder or steal to keep him here.
Daniel would be in one of the labs or his office, subdued, shell-shocked, trying to deal with losing the child after searching for so long, trying to accept that maybe he wasn't the best person to take care of Sha're's son. Leave him long enough and he would push himself too hard, forgetting to rest and eat. So if Jack took him home now he would be doing him a favor. And Jack would get to spend time with the man he'd thought he was about to lose.
Time. He had time.
Things were looking up.
***
With only the soft light from the table lamp on his left and the flickering of the television to illuminate the room, Jack found himself slipping into a contented stupor. Since arriving home he had barely exchanged a couple of sentences with Daniel but the other man's silence was not unsettling, the frown on Daniel's face one of deep thought rather than discontent. The couple of small smiles he had thrown Jack's way had been comforting, reassuring.
The sofa was extremely comfortable, cushioning his back perfectly, soft against his cheek as he tipped his head to the side to sneak a peek at the man sitting next to him.
They, or rather Daniel, was watching a documentary, about something called the Janissaries. Jack had intended to watch it but got caught up Daniel-watching instead, which was less educational but much more interesting. Daniel really was an attractive man. He could look so damn boyish one second then he'd give you a look, gaze right at you with those incredible eyes, and you'd feel like you were staring at the wisest man on Earth. Hell of a thing. Sometimes Jack could read him like a book, knowing exactly what was going through his mind, what he was feeling. Other times he was a mystery but there were always clues to how he was feeling - you just had to know where to look. He was just so perfect - well, perfect for Jack. Sure, he could be annoying as hell at times but he was always interesting, always stimulating and there was a charm, something so endearing about the guy you'd forgive him just about anything. There was that sneaky sense of humor, those quick blinding smiles that made your heart beat faster. And it helped that he was way easy on the eyes.
Ah, Daniel's eyes. Jack felt himself drifting, gaze sliding over the beloved and so familiar face. Daniel had the most penetrating gaze Jack had ever known. He would fix his eyes on you and they would hold you captive, bright and honest and... They were staring right at him, right now.
Jack sat up straighter on reflex and glanced away to fix on the television - only to find it was no longer switched on.
"The show finished?" he asked a shade too brightly.
"No. But we need to talk," Daniel told him, his face solemn.
"We do?" Jack asked warily, eyes sliding across to sneak a look at the other man.
Yes, that direct gaze was still fixed on him and, yes, Jack was held captive.
"Why did you kiss me?" There was neither accusation nor condemnation in Daniel's expression, just a simple need to know.
The words ‘resistence is futile' sprang to mind. Aiming for unruffled, Jack merely sounded defensive as he said, "It was nothing. I was feeling affectionate - so sue me."
"It was more than that. I'm neither stupid nor blind. Do you love me?"
"Jeez, Daniel, why don't you just come right out and ask." Jack shifted on the sofa and rubbed his palm back and forth across the top of his head, ruffling his hair as he tried to collect himself. "Why do you need to know?" For the life of him he couldn't stifle the defensive note in his voice.
"Because your answer will have some bearing on any future decisions I make."
"Decisions?" Deciding that sounded ominous, Jack moved along the sofa until there was barely a handbreadth between them, eyes fixed on Daniel's face, concern written all over his own. "What decisions? You're staying here, right? The kid's gone off with those glowing aliens so there's no need for you to go anywhere."
A frown furrowed Daniel's brow. "Go where?"
"Abydos."
"Why would I go to Abydos?"
"To keep the kid safe."
Daniel's face cleared, the faintest of smiles on his lips. He opened his mouth to say something, paused then continued in a gentle voice, "How would you feel about that?"
"How do you think I'd feel, Daniel? If you have to go - that's your decision. A friend supports another friend - even if they think they're wrong and don't want them to go."
Daniel placed a hand on Jack's shoulder and smiled. "You're a good friend."
At those soft words something inside Jack snapped. "Yeah? Well if I'm such a good friend, how come I'm glad the kid's a long way away with those aliens looking after him instead of you? Why is it, if I'm your good friend, that I was torn between hoping we found the kid so you could have a little peace of mind, and hoping we didn't find the kid so you wouldn't leave?"
Jack looked away, staring down at the hands clasped tightly in his lap, and muttered defiantly, "I'm glad the aliens have him."
"Yes, I heard that," Daniel said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Why would you think I would leave with the boy?"
While not entirely sure what reaction he had expected his confession to garner from Daniel, what he hadn't expected was calm acceptance. He had to run Daniel's question through his mind a couple of times before he could answer, "To keep him safe."
"And?"
"His grandfather's on Abydos."
"Yes. And he was taken from Kasuf if you recall. Jack, I can't think of anywhere safer than right here on Earth."
Jack's head rose at that. "You wouldn't have left?"
"No. I never said I would."
"Oh." Jack ducked his head again, trying to deal with what he was hearing. He had been living with the fear of losing Daniel for so long he hadn't been able to think past it, hadn't had the guts to just ask the man what he planned to do. "Last night I wanted to ask you to stay. I wanted you to move in with me, you and the kid."
Daniel appeared to have been rendered speechless. He opened his mouth, blinked twice, then had to wet his lips before trying again. "You wanted that?"
"Yes."
"You would have helped with the child?"
"Yes, Daniel, I would have helped you raise the kid."
There was uncertainty on Daniel's face, a question in his eyes. Jack read the thought, probably before Daniel was even conscious of forming it.
"No, it wasn't because I wanted to play daddy. I... It freaks me out. The kid being a harsiesis. I know it's part of Sha're and it's - he's - human but the whole thing is weird. It was scaring the hell out of me just thinking about it."
"And feeling that way you would have done it anyway? Had the child under your roof?"
Jack searched for an eloquent answer, one that would convey just how much he had wanted Daniel to stay, his feelings about the child, his fear of losing Daniel. "Yeah. And your fish."
Daniel was blinking rapidly behind his glasses, a slightly wobbly smile on his lips. "You, me, the fish and the baby? Right here?"
"It was that or lose you. No choice."
Daniel took off his glasses, swiping his palm across his face, clearly thrown by Jack's words. He took a moment to polish his glasses on his t-shirt, his head still down-bent as he said, "If we had brought the child back I would have had to give up SG1."
"I know," Jack replied, eyes fixed on Daniel, uncertain where this conversation was leading to. "What about NID?"
"What about them? It's a baby. What use is a baby, even one with the knowledge of the Goa'uld? Maybe in a few years time. I don't trust them. I do trust the SGC. I trust General Hammond. I trust doctors like Fraiser. I trust you, Jack, and SG1. You'd have a found a way. You wouldn't have let them take the child."
An unexpected feeling of peace swept through Jack at those words. He considered what Daniel had said, recognizing the truth. "No. I wouldn't have. I guess we learned our lesson with Teal'c and that bug thing. And there are a lot of planets out there we could go to and hide out if the SGC wasn't an option."
"Oh."
Catching the surprise in that small exclamation, he ran over again what he had just said - then smiled. Daniel was staring at him like he'd just revealed the location of the Holy Grail. Hell of a kick. He reached out, fingers lightly grasping the stubborn chin, thumb brushing the parted mouth. "Oh yeah," he said softly. "‘We'."
"I'm kind of glad that the aliens will be taking care of the child." It was said in the tone of one revealing a dark secret, Daniel clearly asking for understanding.
"Really? No regrets? It's Sha're's kid." Jack added, "You would have made a great dad," then held his breath as he realized how tactless those words were and wondering if he had hit near the bone. He moved his hand away, just in case his touch wasn't wanted, but Daniel caught his wrist, brushing his mouth against Jack's fingers before releasing him.
"The child was a product of rape, Jack. It's not his fault but... When I looked down at him, when I held him in my arms, I didn't see anything of Sha're and I was glad. It didn't look like Apophis, just a baby, a beautiful baby boy. But I'd know. Maybe in time I could forget, now and then, I don't know." Daniel paused, swiping a hand across his eyes. "Being a parent would be all-consuming. That's terrifying enough and it's not something I've ever wanted, even with Sha're. Being the guardian of a harsiesis child?" He shrugged, hands lifting then dropping back down onto his lap, as if even they couldn't be used to convey the enormity of what he was saying. "Jack, that boy has all the knowledge of the Goa'uld. How do you begin to raise him? Where does the Goa'uld legacy end and the child begin?"
A frown creased Daniel's brow as he considered his next words. He began tugging at his lower lip with finger and thumb, his eyes distant as he confessed, "To be honest it was scaring the hell out of me too. I didn't want to fail Sha're or the SGC. Sometimes it felt like there was this huge weight bearing down on me, ready to crush me if I made a wrong move."
"And now?"
His hand dropped to his lap, his tongue swiping briefly over his abused lower lip before he locked eyes with Jack and admitted softly, "I feel free. The weight has gone - well, mostly. The boy is still out there and I suspect we'll be seeing him again when he's older but for now - he's not my responsibility. All I have to care about is doing my job, not letting down my friends and saving the planet." He gave a sudden grin that lit his entire face. "You know. Regular stuff."
Jack smiled back, though somewhat mistily, still dealing with the fact that Daniel wasn't leaving and had never planned to. "I'm glad," he muttered, somewhat inadequately. He prodded the coffee table with his foot and added, "And it was a kiss. And I meant it."
"I know."
"I'm...I love you."
"I know that too." Daniel paused, clearly trying to find the right words. "Sha're's death hit me pretty hard. I loved her."
Jack nodded. "I know."
"But I also love you."
"I kn - You do?"
"Yeah. I think it's best if - I just need a little time."
Jack could feel a huge grin growing on his face and wondered, idly, if it looked as inane as it felt. He didn't really give a damn, so long as Daniel had some clue how happy he was making him feel right now. "You can have all the time you need. It's not like you're going anywhere, right?"
"I'm not planning to."
"You or your damn fish."
Daniel gave a splutter of laughter. "No, we're staying put. I don't think they'd like the desert."
"I know I'm not Sha're - well that's pretty obvious." Jack paused, trying to find words that wouldn't make him sound like a total idiot. "I can't offer you much, Daniel."
"Jack... "
"Just simple things. Loving you. Being there for you. You know?"
"Jack, I like simple things. It's one of the reasons I love you."
There was a pause.
Daniel bit lightly at his lower lip, more to stop himself from laughing than from mortification. "I could have worded that better," he managed to choke out.
Jack gave the other man a not-so-gentle poke in the ribs and mock-growled, "You think I'm simple?"
His hands coming up to cradle Jack's face, Daniel gazed directly into his eyes. "Simple is good. Uncomplicated. Being with you is simple. I love you, you love me."
"One plus one is two, huh?"
Watching as Jack ducked his head, clearly embarrassed by his own sentimentality, Daniel murmured with deliberate provocation, "Well, if you want to get mushy about it... "
Seeing the devilish light in Daniel's eyes, Jack responded to it, warmth blossoming inside him. "Mushy you say? I'll show you mushy."
The cushion hit Daniel across the head. Three times. Snatching up the fallen glasses and about to hit the man across the head, Jack paused as Daniel said, "Wait!"
"What? You're saying uncle already?"
His face flushed from being pounded by the cushion, Daniel answered somewhat breathlessly, "Yes. I'd rather you kissed me."
Jack tossed the cushion aside. "Kissing. I can do kissing. I'm great at kissing. Just kissing, right?"
"For now. Think you can do that?" Daniel asked, hope, love and longing shining bright.
Jack leaned in close, hands cupping Daniel's face, fingers sliding into the thick glossy hair. "We're grown ups. I can do self-control," he murmured lovingly.
When his mouth met Daniel's it was in the lightest of kisses, the barest brush of lips against lips. It was a contact that gradually become firmer, giving while demanding little in exchange. Daniel's mouth parted on a sigh, melding itself to Jack's mouth, and the moment stretched until finally they parted.
His heart racing from that simple contact, it was gratifying for Jack to see the same dumbfounded look on Daniel's face that he was certain he himself must be wearing.
"Ohhh..." he began with a croak.
"Boy..." Daniel finished the sentiment, his pupils enormous in unfocused eyes.
Jack moved back to see the other man's expression more clearly, only to have Daniel follow, as if he was attached by an invisible cord. Jack kept retreating, Daniel kept following and suddenly Jack was lying back on the sofa, with Daniel's clever tongue in his mouth and his body sprawled on top of him.
It was some moments before that tongue moved from its deep exploration of Jack's mouth to the salty hollow of his throat; longer still before Jack's scrambled mind could formulate a thought. Several seconds after that he managed to gasp, "Uh, Daniel. That time thing we talked about. How much time do you think you'll need?"
"All night I hope," Daniel growled against Jack's left nipple, confirming what Jack had suspected - that his wonderful highly-intelligent, rational Danny was in lust mode.
From one kiss.
Cool.
Never one to question the gifts life occasionally threw his way, Jack decided to concentrate his energies on the simple things, like skin on skin and an agile tongue that looked set to drive him crazy.
It seemed good things did indeed come to those who waited.
-fin-
Author: Ankh
Archived: http://bunnyfic.com/Ankh/Simple_Things.htm
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack/Daniel
Date: Dec 1999. Latest edited version Nov 2003
Spoilers/Season: Pre and post season 3 episode Maternal Instinct
Summary: The discovery of the harsesis baby means Jack might lose Daniel.
Disclaimer: Neither SG1, SGC, nor for that matter SG-anything are mine. We all know who they belong to. I've just borrowed them, cleaned them afterwards and left them (sort of) 'as were'. Written for no money, only love, with no intention to infringe on any copyright, purely for entertainment. Please don't archive without my permission.
What the hell, wondered Jack, was so fascinating about a writing system that not only wasn't used anymore but was also, apparently, used by a bunch of long-dead aliens with an abnormal interest in fish bones?
The bones had been everywhere on P8R448, used to make jewelry, ornaments and rattling ... things. As for the writing, it looked like a two-year-old had gone crazy with finger paints. According to Daniel there was a structure and meaning to the blots. Apparently the oval blot with two lines sticking out at its sides and a triangle on its ass was a picto-something and was meant to be a fish. It cropped up a lot. Daniel found it fascinating. Now there was a surprise.
Propped up in the doorway to Daniel's office, Jack ignored the object Daniel was examining with the assiduity of a miser counting out pennies, choosing instead to study the man who was sitting at his desk, head bowed, a frown lodged firmly between his eyebrows. Daniel looked as if he should sleep for twenty-four hours; his face was drawn, the skin overly pale in the lamplight, the blue eyes threaded through with crimson. Not good. Totally engrossed in his study of some alien relic, Daniel was oblivious to Jack's presence. Something about the curve of the neck and spine spoke of a soul-deep weariness; since it was due to three years' worth of trauma there was little Jack could do to alleviate it - but he could do something. He could at least get Daniel to relax, if only for a few hours.
It was time to save Daniel from himself - he'd always been his own worst enemy.
Pushing aside the tenderness and aching need to touch the exhausted man that was welling up inside him, Jack kept his tone casual as he broke the silence. "How much longer are you going to be studying this stuff?"
It was a sign of just how tired Daniel was that Jack's voice startled him. He sat up abruptly, and Jack guessed it was only his years of working with priceless relics that kept the object he was holding from flying into the air.
Daniel put down the object he'd been studying to glare across the room.
Jack smiled serenely, barely managing to stifle the touchy-feely urge that hit him when he saw Daniel's glasses slip down and settle on the tip of his nose. Telling himself that he couldn't just reach out and push the glasses back up, Jack glanced at the object of Daniel's intense study, making a mental bet with himself that it consisted of... Oh yeah, fish bones.
"Do you ever knock?" An impatient hand shoved the glasses back into their customary position.
"For CO's and dates and you're neither," Jack responded flippantly. He had to look away when he realized what he had said. Ouch. Rip your own heart out why don't you? Hell, he must be feeling pretty tired too to leave himself open like that. "You finished here?"
Daniel turned his attention back to the artifact on his desk, dexterous fingers handling the delicate object with ingrained care. "Study like this can take months, sometimes years. The symbols on the head could be pictographic but I really need a point of..."
Hastily Jack asked, "How long are you going to be studying it tonight?"
Daniel gave the question serious consideration. "Ah, until the coffee runs out?"
Examining the lines of exhaustion on Daniel's face and the determined look in his eyes, Jack made a decision. "Right. That's it. Pack it up. I'm taking you home."
"I really don't need a babysitter. I have to finish this."
"No. You don't. These people died a long time ago. I don't think they're going to give us the magic answer on how to defeat the Goa'uld." His voice gentling, Jack added, "And I don't think they're going to lead us to Kheb either."
"But Jack - " Daniel began to protest.
"And fascinating though I'm sure you find them," Jack continued, his voice stronger, faintly teasing, his eyes locking with Daniel's, "fish bones aren't the answer either. I mean fish! Fish for crying out loud. Fish-ing yes. That Egyptian stuff with the cats maybe, the damn things really do seem to have nine lives. Dogs I could really understand. Dogs are cool. But fish?"
"There's nothing wrong with fish. I like fish," Daniel muttered. "I have fish."
Jack gave the other man a look full of meaning.
From the way Daniel closed his eyes and shook his head it was clear he realized just how ridiculous his protest had sounded. Despite his obvious fatigue his stubborn nature tried to assert itself. Managing to dredge up a modicum of energy, he elaborated, "Besides, the fish are probably just representative - an ideogram if you will. Though the Egyptians considered them unclean, the fact is water was often used to represent life and fish as creatures that live in the water - "
"Daniel."
Sudden animation lighting his face, Daniel continued, "There are many Earth-based myths surrounding fish. In Babylonian mythology Enkhil - "
"Daniel, shut up, shut it down or I'm pulling the plug."
"You wouldn't." Daniel paused, clearly considering what he had just said then narrowing his eyes at Jack. "You would," he muttered, sounding resigned.
"Oh yeah." Jack had to suppress a smile, the other man's reluctant capitulation putting him in mind of a stubborn King Charles Spaniel his mother had owned. Damned dog hated being sent out to ‘do its business' even if it had been indoors all day and needed to go out. Daniel was wearing that same ‘mutinous but needing to obey' look on his face. Jack had the sudden urge to pat the other man on the head and stroke his hair. He managed to stop the mental images from progressing further by sheer force of will.
"See, I don't have your fascination for this. I just care about normal stuff like who won the game, or are members of my team getting enough rest. Right now I can see one member who needs to call it a night. So shut it down. Please."
"Fine." Daniel sounded far from fine, in fact he sounded downright resentful. Even sitting slumped in his chair, he managed to exude an air of imminent rebellion but he had the sense to follow orders.
"Thank you." Seeing Daniel was about to pack his notes in his leather holdall to take home, Jack put a restraining hand on the man's wrist. "Oh no. Work's over for you, bucko. I'm taking you home. Leave it for Nyan."
"How is he supposed to decipher these symbols when until recently the only languages he was familiar with were those of his own world?"
"I don't know. Maybe by playing with them?"
"Jack, I don't think you realize what my work entails."
"Just like you have no idea what colonels do."
"Shout a lot and shoot things?" Despite his words, Daniel's tone was teasing.
"See, that's where you're wrong. Sometimes I speak real soft. Like this." Jack leaned forward and whispered into Daniel's ear, "Leave it for Nyan and come home with me. Please."
Daniel closed his eyes briefly, a puff of air pushed past parted lips before they compressed into a wry smile. "Yes, nanny."
Jack grinned, eyes widening when he suddenly realized he was close enough to smell Daniel's shampoo and was still holding the man's wrist. Moving back and resisting the urge to stroke the soft inner skin, he released Daniel and settled for a hearty slap on his back. Having expected to have to cajole his friend into leaving, he was pleased at the relative ease of his victory - until he realized it had been won by Daniel's exhaustion and not his own powers of persuasion. Ignoring the knot in his stomach and the tightness of his throat he forced a cheerful note into his reply.
"Obedience. I could get to like this. It's unlikely I'll get the chance to get used to it but it would make a nice change." Sliding an arm across the tense shoulders, Jack leaned in close and in a voice that clearly stated he would not be thwarted, he told his friend, "Daniel, I'm taking you home with me. You're going to spend a normal evening doing normal guy stuff - if it kills us both."
Daniel looked up from shutting down the computer, red-rimmed blue eyes fixing on his friend; there was an amused light in their depths. "Oh. That makes it sound like so much fun."
"That's the price you pay for spending the evening at my place. You got everything you need?"
"I guess." Daniel reached for some books only to have them snatched out of his hands.
"No work. That includes books."
"I could bring ones with pictures so you could read them too," Daniel murmured provocatively, smiling when Jack changed a smack upside the head into a ruffling of hair.
Stealing a brief moment to enjoy the feel of silken strands against his fingertips, Jack said, "Oh, that's funny. Guy stuff. Popcorn. Beer. The game."
"What game?" Daniel asked, trying to hide a smirk as he got up from his desk.
"There is only one game."
"Hockey?"
"All those hours of training you are paying off."
Daniel smiled wryly as he rubbed at his eyes beneath his glasses, nearly yanking the frames off his face in the process. Pushing then back into position, he stifled a yawn and asked absently, "I thought you already knew what the score was from Ferretti."
There was silence, a very pointed silence, from Jack.
Daniel shook his head in mock self-disgust. "That was a really dumb thing to say. The outcome isn't what's important it's the play that counts. Right?"
"Thattaboy, Daniel, I'm proud of you! We're going to order pizza, drink beer, insult the players, insult each other - "
Tilting his head, eyes crinkling with amusement, Daniel murmured up towards the ceiling, "And he does that for pleasure."
"Ah, you love it really."
***
While it was debatable that Daniel actually enjoyed hockey, Jack had coaxed him into watching it during the early months of their working on the Stargate program, shortly after Daniel's return from Abydos. Daniel had stayed at Jack's place before he found himself an approved residence in town and Jack had taken the opportunity to turn Daniel into his sports-watching, beer-drinking best buddy, whether the scientist liked it or not. Jack wanted to have someone there to complain to about the players' performance so Daniel hadn't really had much of an option. As it turned out, Daniel wasn't totally ignorant about sports, though Jack never could get him to drink more than two beers. In return O'Neill had sat through the occasional documentary - unless it had bugs or snakes in it.
Jack had grown used to Daniel's quirks, which included making pancakes at three in the morning. In return Daniel had never once mentioned that Jack sang - badly - in the shower.
Almost three years on, Jack still missed having the guy around as a permanent fixture.
When Daniel had first moved out the house had felt empty; his absence simply hadn't feel right. At the time O'Neill had been bothered by this fact. It had felt as if he was becoming dependent on Daniel.
That fear still lingered, although he figured it was way too late to do anything about it.
The fact was one day Daniel would leave - for good. Not just several miles away in his own apartment but gone. Vamoose. Adios amigo.
Initially Sha're had been the threat to Jack's happiness. He could deal with that, could accept a woman who was so beautiful, so unique, that Daniel had fallen head over heels for her. He'd prided himself on the fact he'd worked like hell to get her back for Daniel. He hadn't realized he was capable of that self-sacrificing shit.
He'd never imagined the one thing that would take Daniel out of his life would turn out to be a baby that wasn't even Daniel's own child.
Jack was used to fighting tangible things, an armed enemy, something he could use weapons and hands to destroy - hell, something he could shoot at, hit or blow up. He wasn't used to fighting ideals of love, devotion and honor. He wasn't prepared to battle against a man's promise to his dead wife.
With Sha're dead, Daniel's mission in life seemed to be to find Sha're's baby son. One day his search for the child would be over. He'd probably go and live with the kid on Abydos - after all, though the baby was a harsiesis, the product of two Goa'ulded hosts, one of them had been Daniel's wife. The baby was the last link with Sha're along with her family on Abydos. And Daniel had always thought of Abydos as home, ever since he had first arrived there and been welcomed by the Abydonian people with open arms.
Daniel would leave. And, damn it, he'd be alone again, really alone. Daniel wouldn't just be living across town - he'd be living in another galaxy. And it would hurt.
But who was Jack to deny his best friend a shot at being a father? Even if the kid was a harsiesis and likely to attract every damn Goa'uld and enemy of the Goa'uld in the Galaxy? Just because Jack hadn't been able to keep his own kid safe didn't mean...
Damn it.
A rush of memories threatened to swamp Jack and he pushed them down - now was not the time to wallow in regrets of Charlie's death. He had failed to protect his son from the boy's own curiosity, he had failed to ensure that his gun was locked away securely. Daniel had one hell of a task ahead of him but he shouldn't miss out on the chance of something wonderful merely because Jack was afraid of what would happen if some Goa'uld like Apophis showed up. And he definitely shouldn't miss out on being a dad just because Jack was a selfish son of a bitch who didn't want to lose him.
Daniel would make a great dad. Patient, curious, willing to teach, willing to learn, gentle and kind, ruthless when necessary - he had a lot of gifts to give any child. That was going to be one lucky kid.
God, he loved him. It felt so right having him here, beside him.
As the game played on the television, Jack watched the man sitting next to him on the sofa, long legs sprawled out in front of him. It was rare to see Daniel so relaxed. In the past he'd either bounced around with way too much energy for one human being, or been stiff with tension and too much caffeine. Lately he had been more subdued: dying; helping your wife give birth to someone else's child; being certified schizophrenic; seeing your wife killed - all these things tended to have a dampening effect on a person's exuberance... But right now he looked boneless. The exhaustion was gone from his face as the two beers Jack had practically forced down his throat made their effects known, along with the double whisky.
Jack admitted it really didn't take much to keep him happy; hockey on the TV, his best friend at his side, cold beer - the simple things, simple pleasures. He could dream about it getting more complicated, could dream about that best friend becoming something more but it wasn't to be - so he could be happy with simple. Happiness was seeing the man you loved more than anything and anyone totally relaxed at your side, on your sofa, in your house and looking like he belonged there, completely at home.
Except he wasn't.
Jack took a pull at his beer, stifling the rush of resentment rising up inside him. Back to the same old black shadow hanging over him. He really had to get a grip and deal with this. Face facts. One day Daniel would go back to Abydos - back to sand and more sand and people who never forced him to watch hockey, or made sure he slept enough and ate enough and didn't lose himself in the past. He'd be so busy playing dad to Sha're's kid that he'd probably never give Jack another thought.
And dammit that wasn't dealing with it, that was feeling sorry for himself. He really had to work on that coping thing.
When you considered the odds of finding a friend like Daniel, who confused and annoyed him, and drove him nuts sometimes, when you got to thinking how unlikely it was, well, it didn't seem right. Or fair.
Yeah, well since when was life fair? If life was fair he'd still have a son. If life was fair then he would never have fallen in love with his best friend. If life was fair then his love would have been returned.
Something inside O'Neill lurched up against his ribs. Gas, he told himself.
He stole another look at Daniel, eyes drifting over his friend's face - and realized why Daniel looked so relaxed.
He'd fallen asleep.
A roar of sound erupted from the television. With complete disinterest in the dramatic events unfolding on the screen, Jack reached for the TV/VCR remote control and switched off the game he had been anticipating all week. The sudden silence was strangely comforting and he sat back on his side of the sofa, soaking up the peace to be found in the simple sight and sound of his friend sleeping.
Daniel had managed to fall asleep upright, his head tilted back, mouth open. If he stayed like that he'd probably start snoring, Jack thought, smiling at the image, then reflecting that he really had it bad if he could find a snoring Daniel endearing.
Sizing up the length of the sofa then casting an eye over Daniel's six foot frame, Jack decided he'd better be cruel to be kind or Daniel would wind up with a crick in his neck; a couple of inches taller than his friend, painful past experience had taught Jack of the resulting discomfort. He carefully slid Daniel's glasses off, tucking them into his own shirt pocket. Gently, he shook the other man until Daniel opened bleary eyes.
"Come on. Let's get you into the spare room."
Mumbling something under his breath, Daniel let himself be hauled to his feet. He attempted to push up glasses that were no longer there and almost poked himself in the eye. He nodded wearily at Jack's "I got 'em" then took a few seconds to get his balance, stumbling a little as he let himself be guided from the room. He leaned into the support offered.
Jack watched the bowed head as Daniel stared at his feet in an effort not to fall over and felt his insides melt.
Oh yeah. He was beyond reclamation.
They reached the spare room and as soon as Daniel spotted the bed he slipped from under Jack's arm and headed straight for it, landing face down with an inelegant thud that rocked the bed and caused the wooden headboard to bang against the wall.
The sight of Daniel lying there, spread across the bed, sent a rush of desire racing through O'Neill that headed straight for his groin. The swiftness and heat of it caught him by surprise, a small ‘oomph' of a sound escaping him as the air was knocked out of his lungs. Hunching forward a little to alleviate the discomfort of suddenly confining pants, he left the room so quickly he almost walked into the door.
Searching for a pair of sweat-pants Daniel could use for sleep-wear, Jack deliberately lingered over the task until his body was once again under his control. When he was confident it would remain so, he headed back into the bedroom. He found Daniel was no longer in danger of suffocation, his head resting sideways on the pillow, curled fingers embedded in the comforter beneath him. Jack however was in serious danger of hormonal overload as his body tried to wrest back control.
The sweat-pants he was carrying fell to the ground, unnoticed. Jesus. Was there anything more desirable than the sight of a relaxed Daniel Jackson, sprawled on a bed with his legs spread apart, and his pants pulled taut over the perfect curve of his ass?
Damn it, he could do this. He wasn't some inexperienced teenager with a first crush on a cheerleader.
Stealing himself to carry out the necessary mission and quit admiring the scenery, Jack put Daniel's glasses on the nightstand then removed Daniel's shoes and socks in a brisk, business-like fashion. Tempted to remove more, he called himself a pervert and instead took a moment to watch Daniel sleeping. The fatigue was still apparent around the closed eyes but the tightness around the mouth and jaw was gone, the lips parted a fraction. Jack took an involuntary step forward, gaze drawn to that perfect mouth. His hand was moving before he was even aware of having formed the thought, his forefinger lightly stroking across the lush lower lip.
One day Daniel would leave.
The pain ripped through him, although he wasn't sure if that was why he gasped, or whether it was the feel of the tongue that slipped out to lick across his fingertip. He moved closer, thoughts whirling.
Daniel couldn't leave. Jack wouldn't let him go. To hell with promises. Sha're was gone. Jack was here. Daniel was needed here.
His mouth had almost met Daniel's before sanity set in.
The child.
Breath stilled in his throat then Jack moved a little higher, from the temptation of soft lips to warm skin and silky hair as his mouth brushed against Daniel's temple. Air escaped his lips in a shuddering sigh and he rose, heading for the door before he did something completely crazy. About to leave the room a prickling sensation at the back of his neck made him turn round.
Daniel was watching him.
Jack caught a glimpse of the tip of Daniel's tongue as it stroked across his lips.
The moment stretched, thoughts and emotions suspended.
Then Daniel closed his eyes.
Emotion rushing through him, too overwhelming and confusing to be catalogued, Jack switched off the light, plunging the bedroom into darkness, then retreated swiftly.
He stayed for a while in the living room, standing aimlessly in the center of the room, one thought dominant over the chaotic whirl of others - Kheb was a long way away, in time and space. Daniel was here now. There was time to make this place home, a home Daniel would never want to leave; a home for Daniel to raise a child, even if it was a harsiesis that had no genetic claim to either of them. He could do this. He could make this work.
It would have to be cleared with Hammond, of course, but the man had a soft spot for Daniel and, he suspected, for him too. Of course, they'd have to ascertain whether the child was dangerous or not. If so, no way in hell was Daniel going to be allowed to take the kid. If not, if it really was just a regular baby, Jack could easily nudge the general into thinking in the right direction. Daniel would need help. And if Jack was there for Daniel every day, supporting him, guiding him, helping him change the damn diapers, maybe one day he would let Jack love him? There was time and he could be very patient.
Some things were worth waiting for.
***
Staring off into some invisible realm six inches beyond his nose, Jack reflected on the basic unfairness of life.
That morning there had been no mention of the kiss. Well, if you could call it a kiss. It had just been a simple brush of lips against an area that wasn't considered an erogenous zone. Totally non-sexual, really. Practically fraternal. He'd kissed his grandmother with more passion.
Yeah, Jack. Sure. Since when did you ever want to ‘French' Grandma?
Anyway, Daniel hadn't mentioned it, although Jack's instincts were telling him that the man knew exactly what was behind the kiss. He wasn't sure how he felt about that.
Arriving at the base, Daniel wearing underwear he had borrowed from Jack - something Jack was not going to think about too closely - they'd had an unexpected visit from Bra'tac. That made Teal'c happy. Sort of. That injured Jaffa dying kind of killed the mood. Daniel got to do some research which made him happy. Oh, and there was also the minor fact that Kheb had been discovered - just boring, heart-ripping, soul-tearing stuff, nothing important.
Shit, crap and dammit to hell. He needed more time.
Kheb. Now. Of all the times to discover the location of the harsiesis kid it had to be now, when Jack was least prepared and had his defenses down. For months he'd been ready to let Daniel go - kind of. Well, he liked to think he'd been ready. Just when he'd reckoned on enough time to get Daniel to change his mind they'd gone and discovered the damn place.
Idly, Jack wondered where the monk guy was keeping the kid. Come on, just hand the harsiesis over, let Daniel go to Abydos, let my heart quit feeling like it's about to split apart and let's get the hell out of here.
It didn't help that the damn Goa'uld were likely to show up soon, which meant they really ought to get the hell out of Dodge. But Daniel was in there doing the softly-softly thing with the monk and Jack was willing to go along with it. The monk, or whatever the hell he was, didn't look the type to be intimidated by a gun waved in front of his face. So Daniel was inside, trying to get the location of the harsiesis out of Master Yoda in there. As for Jack? Well, he was outside feeling sorry for himself.
Pathetic, he told himself, even as he wondered if hitting Daniel over the head and keeping him tied up at the house would be grounds for breaking up a friendship. Now there was a thought - lose Daniel's friendship or lose Daniel? Great choices life threw at him. He must have stored up a shitload of bad karma in some previous life.
The scientist types at the SGC would want to examine the kid so Daniel wouldn't be able to leave immediately. That would give Jack a few days to work on him, to convince him to stay. He'd run the ‘Daniel moving in with me' idea past Hammond.
Ah hell. He was forgetting about the NID. Once those goons heard about the harsiesis they would want to take him away and study him like a lab rat. While the whole idea of a child created by Apophis seriously creeped him out, the fact was it was still a child. Part of Sha're. There was no way Daniel would stick around, not unless Hammond refused to let him leave.
Jack glanced around, as if fearing his thoughts were on display and might be seen by someone else. This was his secret, the shameful thought that proved what a selfish asshole he was. It wasn't a new idea, he'd had it some time ago, when he'd started to believe the harsiesis was real and not the result of a ribbon device-induced hallucination. If General Hammond refused permission for Daniel to step through the stargate with the child then Daniel wouldn't be able to leave. He certainly wouldn't be able to leave the protection of the SGC. But Hammond listened to Colonel O'Neill. All it would take would be the right argument, pushing certain facts. He could do it.
Except he wouldn't. Even he wasn't that much of an asshole.
He could try convincing Daniel but wearing him down would take time and no one could stop Daniel when he got an idea in his head, least of all Jack. No, Daniel would get the kid, then leave Jack - Earth - and head for Abydos.
And Jack? Well, he'd request a mission to some nice hostile planet and go shoot something. Blowing up things might work. Might not make him feel any better but at least it would give him something to focus on and maybe he could get through losing Daniel - again - without losing his mind.
All in all this was turning into a bad day.
***
OK. That was the report finished. He was getting real good at putting into words all the weird shit that happened to SG1 on a regular basis. And the medical was out of the way. Fraiser had cold hands. He should see about -
Daniel was still here.
Yeah, so he should talk to Teal'c about the Jaffa fear of Kheb, find out if those ‘glowing light' aliens had shown up anywhere other than -
Daniel was still here. Oh sweet Jesus, hail Mary, hallelujah. He hadn't lost him. A subdued Daniel, yes, a Daniel who was still clearly dealing with the fact his mission to find the harsiesis and keep him safe had been taken away from him but, still, Daniel. And Jack hadn't had to lie, cheat, murder or steal to keep him here.
Daniel would be in one of the labs or his office, subdued, shell-shocked, trying to deal with losing the child after searching for so long, trying to accept that maybe he wasn't the best person to take care of Sha're's son. Leave him long enough and he would push himself too hard, forgetting to rest and eat. So if Jack took him home now he would be doing him a favor. And Jack would get to spend time with the man he'd thought he was about to lose.
Time. He had time.
Things were looking up.
***
With only the soft light from the table lamp on his left and the flickering of the television to illuminate the room, Jack found himself slipping into a contented stupor. Since arriving home he had barely exchanged a couple of sentences with Daniel but the other man's silence was not unsettling, the frown on Daniel's face one of deep thought rather than discontent. The couple of small smiles he had thrown Jack's way had been comforting, reassuring.
The sofa was extremely comfortable, cushioning his back perfectly, soft against his cheek as he tipped his head to the side to sneak a peek at the man sitting next to him.
They, or rather Daniel, was watching a documentary, about something called the Janissaries. Jack had intended to watch it but got caught up Daniel-watching instead, which was less educational but much more interesting. Daniel really was an attractive man. He could look so damn boyish one second then he'd give you a look, gaze right at you with those incredible eyes, and you'd feel like you were staring at the wisest man on Earth. Hell of a thing. Sometimes Jack could read him like a book, knowing exactly what was going through his mind, what he was feeling. Other times he was a mystery but there were always clues to how he was feeling - you just had to know where to look. He was just so perfect - well, perfect for Jack. Sure, he could be annoying as hell at times but he was always interesting, always stimulating and there was a charm, something so endearing about the guy you'd forgive him just about anything. There was that sneaky sense of humor, those quick blinding smiles that made your heart beat faster. And it helped that he was way easy on the eyes.
Ah, Daniel's eyes. Jack felt himself drifting, gaze sliding over the beloved and so familiar face. Daniel had the most penetrating gaze Jack had ever known. He would fix his eyes on you and they would hold you captive, bright and honest and... They were staring right at him, right now.
Jack sat up straighter on reflex and glanced away to fix on the television - only to find it was no longer switched on.
"The show finished?" he asked a shade too brightly.
"No. But we need to talk," Daniel told him, his face solemn.
"We do?" Jack asked warily, eyes sliding across to sneak a look at the other man.
Yes, that direct gaze was still fixed on him and, yes, Jack was held captive.
"Why did you kiss me?" There was neither accusation nor condemnation in Daniel's expression, just a simple need to know.
The words ‘resistence is futile' sprang to mind. Aiming for unruffled, Jack merely sounded defensive as he said, "It was nothing. I was feeling affectionate - so sue me."
"It was more than that. I'm neither stupid nor blind. Do you love me?"
"Jeez, Daniel, why don't you just come right out and ask." Jack shifted on the sofa and rubbed his palm back and forth across the top of his head, ruffling his hair as he tried to collect himself. "Why do you need to know?" For the life of him he couldn't stifle the defensive note in his voice.
"Because your answer will have some bearing on any future decisions I make."
"Decisions?" Deciding that sounded ominous, Jack moved along the sofa until there was barely a handbreadth between them, eyes fixed on Daniel's face, concern written all over his own. "What decisions? You're staying here, right? The kid's gone off with those glowing aliens so there's no need for you to go anywhere."
A frown furrowed Daniel's brow. "Go where?"
"Abydos."
"Why would I go to Abydos?"
"To keep the kid safe."
Daniel's face cleared, the faintest of smiles on his lips. He opened his mouth to say something, paused then continued in a gentle voice, "How would you feel about that?"
"How do you think I'd feel, Daniel? If you have to go - that's your decision. A friend supports another friend - even if they think they're wrong and don't want them to go."
Daniel placed a hand on Jack's shoulder and smiled. "You're a good friend."
At those soft words something inside Jack snapped. "Yeah? Well if I'm such a good friend, how come I'm glad the kid's a long way away with those aliens looking after him instead of you? Why is it, if I'm your good friend, that I was torn between hoping we found the kid so you could have a little peace of mind, and hoping we didn't find the kid so you wouldn't leave?"
Jack looked away, staring down at the hands clasped tightly in his lap, and muttered defiantly, "I'm glad the aliens have him."
"Yes, I heard that," Daniel said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Why would you think I would leave with the boy?"
While not entirely sure what reaction he had expected his confession to garner from Daniel, what he hadn't expected was calm acceptance. He had to run Daniel's question through his mind a couple of times before he could answer, "To keep him safe."
"And?"
"His grandfather's on Abydos."
"Yes. And he was taken from Kasuf if you recall. Jack, I can't think of anywhere safer than right here on Earth."
Jack's head rose at that. "You wouldn't have left?"
"No. I never said I would."
"Oh." Jack ducked his head again, trying to deal with what he was hearing. He had been living with the fear of losing Daniel for so long he hadn't been able to think past it, hadn't had the guts to just ask the man what he planned to do. "Last night I wanted to ask you to stay. I wanted you to move in with me, you and the kid."
Daniel appeared to have been rendered speechless. He opened his mouth, blinked twice, then had to wet his lips before trying again. "You wanted that?"
"Yes."
"You would have helped with the child?"
"Yes, Daniel, I would have helped you raise the kid."
There was uncertainty on Daniel's face, a question in his eyes. Jack read the thought, probably before Daniel was even conscious of forming it.
"No, it wasn't because I wanted to play daddy. I... It freaks me out. The kid being a harsiesis. I know it's part of Sha're and it's - he's - human but the whole thing is weird. It was scaring the hell out of me just thinking about it."
"And feeling that way you would have done it anyway? Had the child under your roof?"
Jack searched for an eloquent answer, one that would convey just how much he had wanted Daniel to stay, his feelings about the child, his fear of losing Daniel. "Yeah. And your fish."
Daniel was blinking rapidly behind his glasses, a slightly wobbly smile on his lips. "You, me, the fish and the baby? Right here?"
"It was that or lose you. No choice."
Daniel took off his glasses, swiping his palm across his face, clearly thrown by Jack's words. He took a moment to polish his glasses on his t-shirt, his head still down-bent as he said, "If we had brought the child back I would have had to give up SG1."
"I know," Jack replied, eyes fixed on Daniel, uncertain where this conversation was leading to. "What about NID?"
"What about them? It's a baby. What use is a baby, even one with the knowledge of the Goa'uld? Maybe in a few years time. I don't trust them. I do trust the SGC. I trust General Hammond. I trust doctors like Fraiser. I trust you, Jack, and SG1. You'd have a found a way. You wouldn't have let them take the child."
An unexpected feeling of peace swept through Jack at those words. He considered what Daniel had said, recognizing the truth. "No. I wouldn't have. I guess we learned our lesson with Teal'c and that bug thing. And there are a lot of planets out there we could go to and hide out if the SGC wasn't an option."
"Oh."
Catching the surprise in that small exclamation, he ran over again what he had just said - then smiled. Daniel was staring at him like he'd just revealed the location of the Holy Grail. Hell of a kick. He reached out, fingers lightly grasping the stubborn chin, thumb brushing the parted mouth. "Oh yeah," he said softly. "‘We'."
"I'm kind of glad that the aliens will be taking care of the child." It was said in the tone of one revealing a dark secret, Daniel clearly asking for understanding.
"Really? No regrets? It's Sha're's kid." Jack added, "You would have made a great dad," then held his breath as he realized how tactless those words were and wondering if he had hit near the bone. He moved his hand away, just in case his touch wasn't wanted, but Daniel caught his wrist, brushing his mouth against Jack's fingers before releasing him.
"The child was a product of rape, Jack. It's not his fault but... When I looked down at him, when I held him in my arms, I didn't see anything of Sha're and I was glad. It didn't look like Apophis, just a baby, a beautiful baby boy. But I'd know. Maybe in time I could forget, now and then, I don't know." Daniel paused, swiping a hand across his eyes. "Being a parent would be all-consuming. That's terrifying enough and it's not something I've ever wanted, even with Sha're. Being the guardian of a harsiesis child?" He shrugged, hands lifting then dropping back down onto his lap, as if even they couldn't be used to convey the enormity of what he was saying. "Jack, that boy has all the knowledge of the Goa'uld. How do you begin to raise him? Where does the Goa'uld legacy end and the child begin?"
A frown creased Daniel's brow as he considered his next words. He began tugging at his lower lip with finger and thumb, his eyes distant as he confessed, "To be honest it was scaring the hell out of me too. I didn't want to fail Sha're or the SGC. Sometimes it felt like there was this huge weight bearing down on me, ready to crush me if I made a wrong move."
"And now?"
His hand dropped to his lap, his tongue swiping briefly over his abused lower lip before he locked eyes with Jack and admitted softly, "I feel free. The weight has gone - well, mostly. The boy is still out there and I suspect we'll be seeing him again when he's older but for now - he's not my responsibility. All I have to care about is doing my job, not letting down my friends and saving the planet." He gave a sudden grin that lit his entire face. "You know. Regular stuff."
Jack smiled back, though somewhat mistily, still dealing with the fact that Daniel wasn't leaving and had never planned to. "I'm glad," he muttered, somewhat inadequately. He prodded the coffee table with his foot and added, "And it was a kiss. And I meant it."
"I know."
"I'm...I love you."
"I know that too." Daniel paused, clearly trying to find the right words. "Sha're's death hit me pretty hard. I loved her."
Jack nodded. "I know."
"But I also love you."
"I kn - You do?"
"Yeah. I think it's best if - I just need a little time."
Jack could feel a huge grin growing on his face and wondered, idly, if it looked as inane as it felt. He didn't really give a damn, so long as Daniel had some clue how happy he was making him feel right now. "You can have all the time you need. It's not like you're going anywhere, right?"
"I'm not planning to."
"You or your damn fish."
Daniel gave a splutter of laughter. "No, we're staying put. I don't think they'd like the desert."
"I know I'm not Sha're - well that's pretty obvious." Jack paused, trying to find words that wouldn't make him sound like a total idiot. "I can't offer you much, Daniel."
"Jack... "
"Just simple things. Loving you. Being there for you. You know?"
"Jack, I like simple things. It's one of the reasons I love you."
There was a pause.
Daniel bit lightly at his lower lip, more to stop himself from laughing than from mortification. "I could have worded that better," he managed to choke out.
Jack gave the other man a not-so-gentle poke in the ribs and mock-growled, "You think I'm simple?"
His hands coming up to cradle Jack's face, Daniel gazed directly into his eyes. "Simple is good. Uncomplicated. Being with you is simple. I love you, you love me."
"One plus one is two, huh?"
Watching as Jack ducked his head, clearly embarrassed by his own sentimentality, Daniel murmured with deliberate provocation, "Well, if you want to get mushy about it... "
Seeing the devilish light in Daniel's eyes, Jack responded to it, warmth blossoming inside him. "Mushy you say? I'll show you mushy."
The cushion hit Daniel across the head. Three times. Snatching up the fallen glasses and about to hit the man across the head, Jack paused as Daniel said, "Wait!"
"What? You're saying uncle already?"
His face flushed from being pounded by the cushion, Daniel answered somewhat breathlessly, "Yes. I'd rather you kissed me."
Jack tossed the cushion aside. "Kissing. I can do kissing. I'm great at kissing. Just kissing, right?"
"For now. Think you can do that?" Daniel asked, hope, love and longing shining bright.
Jack leaned in close, hands cupping Daniel's face, fingers sliding into the thick glossy hair. "We're grown ups. I can do self-control," he murmured lovingly.
When his mouth met Daniel's it was in the lightest of kisses, the barest brush of lips against lips. It was a contact that gradually become firmer, giving while demanding little in exchange. Daniel's mouth parted on a sigh, melding itself to Jack's mouth, and the moment stretched until finally they parted.
His heart racing from that simple contact, it was gratifying for Jack to see the same dumbfounded look on Daniel's face that he was certain he himself must be wearing.
"Ohhh..." he began with a croak.
"Boy..." Daniel finished the sentiment, his pupils enormous in unfocused eyes.
Jack moved back to see the other man's expression more clearly, only to have Daniel follow, as if he was attached by an invisible cord. Jack kept retreating, Daniel kept following and suddenly Jack was lying back on the sofa, with Daniel's clever tongue in his mouth and his body sprawled on top of him.
It was some moments before that tongue moved from its deep exploration of Jack's mouth to the salty hollow of his throat; longer still before Jack's scrambled mind could formulate a thought. Several seconds after that he managed to gasp, "Uh, Daniel. That time thing we talked about. How much time do you think you'll need?"
"All night I hope," Daniel growled against Jack's left nipple, confirming what Jack had suspected - that his wonderful highly-intelligent, rational Danny was in lust mode.
From one kiss.
Cool.
Never one to question the gifts life occasionally threw his way, Jack decided to concentrate his energies on the simple things, like skin on skin and an agile tongue that looked set to drive him crazy.
It seemed good things did indeed come to those who waited.
-fin-